I’m living out of a box at the moment, actually it’s more like half a box. To be honest I’m not even sure what is at the bottom of said box because the thought of unpacking it gives me a mild panic attack. I’m back in this middle ground, the waiting space. I exist as a blurred edge, a pixellated figment of your imagination, a not from here nor from there, a ghost floating in the static of the daily grind.

I realised recently that I will be homeless and on the road for at least another 12 months. If my plans become realised I will move away from Australia destined for a chilly city called Leeds by about this time next year. I’m riding, jumping and rolling upon a leap of faith in the arms of a girl with curls and light eyes I met two weeks before leaving India.

I’m presently alternating between sharing a bed with my twin sister or stealing the resting spot of one of my nieces. My clothes are piled on top of my half a box and the rest of my worldly bits are stored at my folks place. I’m slowly starting to massage, am working in a café a few days a week and am attempting to find other work doing whatever. It is all extremely temporary. I can’t quite settle and the lack of settlement, the lack of my own space is creating an angst that is slipping out an inopportune moments; over dinner, on a swing set, in the getting ready for work.

In addition to all of this grime I’m also broke. More broke then I have ever been, frankly I am in the red. It’s simultaneously exhilarating and horrifying. I’ve never been great at discussing the financial side of my life and this is no exception so i’ll just leave it there if it’s all the same.

In India I had my heart broken, ripped from my chest and stamped on. I was emptied and flattened, bent, spat on, shat on, I waded in my own shit and came face to face with my demons. Then I met the woman of my dreams and not to harp on too much, I’ll follow her to wherever it is she fancies to take me.

So I’ll float until it’s time for me leave again. I’ll head to India to meet my love and then hold her hand all the way to Yorkshire to live!

I’m so damned happy I want to puke.