Maybe I’m just not that brave.
This middle ground of gender has proved exhausting and I can’t keep up anymore. This process of wax and wane has thrilled, empowered and dismantled me. My spirit may not require a gender but my form kinda seems to.
And so it begins. A tender hardening, a bristle and a whisker, a movement, a deepening and a boy will emerge in time. It has begun already which surprised me! Suddenly I’m taut with an energy I can’t even begin to define…ok perhaps I’ll try: it’s a coiled snake in the pit of my gut, a crawling stillness that pierces the day, a shadow that seems to lighten my load…oh it’s so hard to define. Shall I be a touch course? I feel different, I need new boundaries and I’m ridiculously on heat!
I thank the Gods and Goddesses for you, my beloved, my accomplice, my lightning, my heart. You hold my hand and whisper your love and I’m grateful for all you bring to my table. This only slightly well constructed roller-coaster is just about to hit a hurricane so hold on tight precious.
My tribe…please be kind yet honest. I’m landing.
My blood, my half, my sister. I’m lost without you. Thank you for your fierce love and honour. Thank you for your honesty and for holding me in my battle.
Thus begins a new level of self obsession…Oh My God is my voice deeper? Have my hips changed? Is that some fur I can feel on my face? Wow are my arms looking different!!? Oh dear I want to watch football!! Quick get this on YouTube!!
God help us all!! A cub is on T!